Vol. 1 Issue 6

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Personal Note From Crista: Breaking Up Is A Process

Feature Article: 15 Ways I Got Over My Boyfriend and Healed My Broken Heart

Crista Recommends: There's Life After What's His Name

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”I Love You” photo in header by Kristen Holden.

Hi,

My boyfriend and I broke up after two years together.

I’ve been a bit embarrassed to share this information publicly because here I am giving advice about relationships and my own relationship falls apart. But then I realized that coming together in relationships and growing apart in relationships is a part of life.

Recently I have gone through all of the emotions associated with a breakup: sadness, anger, depression, grief, loneliness, resentment, and feelings of loss.

I’ve realized that breaking up is not just a one moment event. It’s a process. Completely breaking up with someone takes time. It takes time to cut the emotional ties, heal the pain from loss, and move on with a heart ready to love again.

Instead of rushing the process, I’ve allowed myself the time and space to fully heal. When the next man comes along, I want to be able to give him my full heart, not some bandaged up heart that leaks from past hurts.

Still in the process,
Crista

By Crista Beck

1. I moved to another country
Not everyone has this luxury, but I was living in Thailand when we broke up and I moved back to the United States. Having this physical distance created the space I needed to cut the ties and move on.

Being far away prevented me from running back into his arms when I started to feel the pain inside of me.

2. I "defriended" him on Facebook
I suggested to my ex boyfriend that it may be a good idea that we not be friends on Facebook for a while. We both agreed that it would hurt too much to see each other with another person.

When I pushed the button to delete him as a friend, a pop up window appeared that said, "Are you sure you want to remove your connection?" I bawled my eyes out when I clicked "Yes." But I needed to do this in order to let go of him.

3. I journaled like crazy
I didn't want my friends to get completely sick of my sadness associated with my break up, so I wrote all my feelings down in my journal. I got out all of my anger, sadness, confusion, and heartache. I felt like I was throwing up all over the page.

4. I got rid of everything that reminded me of him
That included presents, pictures, Facebook photo albums, letters and cards. I boxed it all up and hid them away. Out of sight, out of mind.

5. I bawled my eyes out and faced the pain inside me
I'm not one to hold my feelings in. I let them all out. My pillow became my best friend, soaking in all my tears at night.

6. I got creative
I got out all my art supplies and started drawing and painting. It was very healing and fun.

7. I reflected
I thought about all the reasons why our relationship did not work out. I thought about all the things that I did wrong and all the things that he did that did not work for me. This helped me to make peace with the situation and to create new boundaries for myself for the future.

8. I became my own boyfriend
I made a list of all the things that I would love a boyfriend to do for me and then I started doing those things for myself.

9. I ate lots of chocolate
There's nothing like chocolate to get a girl through a hard time. Thank you chocolate for your unconditional love.

10. I surrounded myself with loving friends
They showered me with hugs, kisses and sympathy. Without them I would still be going bonkers.

11. I made a playlist of "broken heart" songs and sang my heart out
Ok, this may sound silly, but in order for me to let go of all the drama associated with the break up, I listened to a bunch of break up songs. I sang along until all the pain went away.

12. I took care of myself
I shifted all the attention that I was giving to my boyfriend and I placed it all on myself. I made nice meals, I did yoga and I gave myself manicures and pedicures.

13. I took bubble baths
There's nothing like a nice hot bath to calm your nerves. I surrounded myself with candles and soft music and relaxed in the warmth. It felt so good.

14. I made a "things that make me happy list"
Hanging out with friends, flowers and ice cream definitely made the list. I made new friends, bought myself flowers and made sure I got myself some ice cream at least once a week.

15. I got busy
Instead of just using my mental energy to dwell on my loss, I filled my life with stimulating projects. Spending too much time alone was not good for me.

There's Life After What's His Name

Discover How to Move on From the Heartache of a Break-up!

Discover the secrets of letting go of the past and moving on!

Is your relationship over with your boyfriend? Now you can learn how to get over it...and get on with your life even if you feel hopeless!

Click here to find out more!

About Crista Beck

Crista Beck is the creator of Love Your Boyfriend, a website for women devoted to relationship advice, understanding men and helping women express their love for their boyfriends.

To learn more about her website go to: www.love-your-boyfriend.com

You may absolutely share this newsletter with people you think may enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including my contact and copyright information. Thanks and enjoy!

The Love Your Boyfriend Newsletter is written by Crista Beck: http://www.Love-Your-Boyfriend.com. If you have any questions or comments, please send them to: crista [at] love-your-boyfriend.com.

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