Vol. 1 Issue 9
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In This Issue
Personal Note From Crista: The Best of 2009
Feature Article: What You Should Say When He...
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A Personal Note From Crista
Happy New Year!
A few days ago I noticed that the news programs were highlighting the “best” and “worst” events of 2009, so I did the same for my life. I looked over my year and created my “best” and “worst” list.
It was a great way to take at look at my accomplishments and my disappointments. It helped me to create closure for 2009 and to move powerfully into 2010.
Here are some of the best moments for me in 2009:
- Building Love-Your-Boyfriend.com last January and I now have over 2000 visitors a day!
- Lighting lanterns in Thailand and watching them float away into the sky
- Getting my scuba diving license and swimming with the little fishes in the ocean
- Completing a 30 day yoga challenge
- Going on a boat trip with my friend in Vietnam
- Returning back to Austin, TX and being with all my dear friends again after spending seven months in Thailand
I have so many more amazing moments, but I can’t list them all here! I also have a list of disappointing moments too, but I’ll spare you the details.
I hope 2010 is filled with lots of amazing moments for you!
What You Should Say When He....
By Bob Grant
1) …Says something you don’t like
Your response: “That doesn’t make me happy.”
Oh, I can see you rolling your eyes. You’re probably pretty certain how he’ll respond. He might laugh or say he doesn’t care. You’re probably right.
But the trick is to outlast his bad behavior. Remain distant until he approaches you later. When he acts like nothing is wrong say to him, “I’m still upset about what you did (said).” Now you’ll have his attention.
He will start to learn that whenever he is rude, inappropriate or bullying, that you won’t simply ignore that bad behavior. He’ll need to apologize or you’ll retain your distance.
2) …Says, “You Look Great!”
Your Response: No words, just smile at him for 3 seconds.
I put this on my list because most women tend to minimize compliments. One reason that they do this is that they don’t want others (particularly men) to think they are conceited. The problem is that when a man gives you something, even a quick compliment, he doesn’t want you to turn him down.
Remember, giving is masculine and receiving is feminine. So when a man gives you a compliment, just relax and enjoy it. He wouldn’t say these words unless he meant them.
3) …Expresses Doubts About Your Relationship
Your Response: “OK I understand.”
It takes a lot of courage to simply state, “OK I understand,” because your fears will be screaming at you inside your head.
There is an important reason why you should respond this way. If a man has expressed doubts about your relationship, he most likely no longer feels you are a mystery.
Memorize this phrase: men despise what comes easy and crave what they can’t get. In this situation, if you respond to his doubts with this pleasant and accommodating answer, he will start to feel as though maybe he doesn’t understand you as well as he thought he did.
Perhaps you are a mystery to him after all. By responding this way you will arouse his curiosity and diminish his fears.
The confident woman that men adore and never want to leave never begs or pleads with a man to stay with her. It takes courage to maintain your dignity when you’re scared but, those women that have learned how to put their heart first unanimously say that the results are worth it.
4) ...Shows Up 30 Minutes Late Without a Valid Excuse (and doesn't call to tell you he's going to be late)
Your Response: "I'm sorry but I'm going to stay in for the evening. We were supposed to go out 30 minutes ago."
Perhaps you're thinking, "Oh Bob, that sounds so petty and mean." Well it might seem that way but when a man takes a woman for granted she should always create distance.
Notice I mentioned that he was late and didn't have a good reason. I'm not talking about his being late because of circumstances beyond his control. What I am talking about is when a man is late and acts indifferent. If you accept that kind of behavior you're actually training him to treat you poorly in other areas of your relationship.
Get more amazing relationship tips in Bob Grant’s book, The Women Men Adore…And Never Want to Leave.
About Crista Beck
Crista Beck is the creator of Love Your Boyfriend, a website devoted to helping women understand and express love for their boyfriends.
To learn more about her website go to: www.love-your-boyfriend.com
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The Love Your Boyfriend Newsletter is written by Crista Beck: http://www.Love-Your-Boyfriend.com. If you have any questions or comments, please send them to: crista [at] love-your-boyfriend.com.
”Love” photo in header by Abe and Liina Novy.
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